Funny Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

2. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

3. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your hankie to other passengers

4. Burp, and then say "mmmm . . . tasty."

5. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

6. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".

7. Frown and mutter, "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops"

8. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

9. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

10. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

11. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

12. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

13. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

14. Meow occasionally.

15. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down

16. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

20. Stand silently and motionlessly in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM" and move to the far corner of the elevator

22. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

23. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in mah mouf?"

24. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

25. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

26. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

27. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

28. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"

29. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

30. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly

31. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

32. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

33. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!

34. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

35. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

36. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

37. Shave.

38. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

39. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

40. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

41. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

42. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!

43. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

44. Censored by your son.

45. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.

46. Do Tai Chi exercises.

47. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!

48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!

49. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

50. Meow occassionally.

51. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

52. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!

53. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

54. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.

55. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.

56. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.

57. Leave a box between the doors.

58. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

59. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.

60. Start a sing-along.

61. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?

62. Play the harmonica.

63. Shadow box.

64. Say Ding! at each floor.

65. Lean against the button panel.

66. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.

67. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

68. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.

69. Bring a chair along.

70. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

71. Blow spit bubbles.

72. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

73. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.

74. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

75. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

76. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.

77. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!