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More Annoying Stuff
1. "Use" a toilet on display in a plumbers shop - complain vigorously about the lack of paper and privacy, Ask why the flush doesn't work.
2. Return to the shop a few minutes later and say "well - I know they want to make it realistic - but that shit looks a tad too real for me"
3. On public transport - when leaving your seat - grab the woman on the seat in front's breast - when she is expecting an apology for your clumsiness say "oooh - nice hooters" and honk the other one...
4. Bring some empty sweet papers to "rustle" during the quiet bit of a film...
5. Cross the road in front of a car, change your mind 3/4 of the way over and turn back. (Particularly good if the driver has honked his horn or shown signs of impatience).
6. Knock some magazines off the shelf in a newsagent and blame it on some children who are in the store - this works best if you know the owner of the shop is a bit of a bastard with kids!
7. If you are in a shop and a child is being told he can't have any chocolate, secretly put a bar (or several) in the trolley and wait for the argument at the checkout counter.
8. Spend the day in a hi-fi store listening to cd's on various systems and then say "thanks for the fun" and leave without making a purchase.
9. Bring some fresh cream along to a "pick your own" fruit farm - have lunch there. Return to the "weighing" place with cream over your mouth and empty fruit bowls.
10. When the hairdresser shows you your haircut in the mirror and asks if it's ok - say no and demand a full refund.
11. Recite crossword clues out (very) loud in public, complain if anyone offers advice on the answers.
12. Play a noisy puzzle / electronic game in a library.
13. Follow the suggestions made on a list like this.
14. In a posh restaurant - try to persuade all the diners to take part in a group purity test.
15. Sing songs out of tune and with incorrect lyrics (preferably accompanying a loud walkman).